fathom blog

so my phone almost exploded right around 6:30 this evening. mostly because it was trying to process 170 text messages all at once. i literally was waiting for my phone to just disintegrate or internally combust.

i must think of something to painful do to peter. i have texts from sapphire and hannah stating peter gave all of you my number and i even have a voice mail message from one of you that is peter reading out my number and orders to text me all at once. wow peter. wow. you are lucky i have unlimited texts. if any of you students actually read this and have suggestions on things i can do to cause my boss physical harm, please let me know. apparently you all have my number already anyway so it shouldnt be hard for you to get in touch with me now.

i appreciate all of your notes of encouragement and concern and hilarity. since i have nothing better to do right now (i already cleaned out the fireplace and have been sick of TV since last night) i thought i would highlight my favorite messages. please know that if your’s isn’t listed below, its simply because you are nice enough to actually encourage me and not use my brief sickness as an opportunity to further degrade my self-esteem. and i no less appreciate your thoughts and kindness if your’s is not listed below, but i seriously had 170 texts so i clearly could not list out all the nice ones. so just know that if your’s isnt listed its because its one of my favorites and i want to treasure it to myself for years to come…

first one - u suck get well - chad brand (which he apparently felt the need to send to me again 23 seconds later and again a minute after that and twice more after that)

hey pooper i wanted to be the first one to text you - johnny knox (sorry wee-man you failed)

Wah! u big baby - steve wright

get well soon by freckled boy at discovery (i love this one especially b/c i cant remember even a little bit who this is)

hi mark its cricket dont die but if u do i understand - chris burrows (i love the attempt at compassion)

stop being a sissy and come to church the only excuse you have is if you are sick with swine flu - chaz thomas

u sly platapus - chandler davidson (seriously thats what he sent me)

hey mark. its alex kahle. i heard u were sick. men dont get sick what is wrong with u?! get ur lazy butt over here and give me a hug!

aw ur sick in ur face how does it feel - kyler shelton (i like this one just because he sent me this message 9 times. apparently kyler is really trying to rub it in.)

hey neighbor, i’m gonna roll your house! - simon leiu

get well late! - andy towers (LOL thats my boy)

i love you like a sister - nathan johnson

hey good job not being here. quit faking it. - reid williams

get offa yer lazy bohunkas & get outta bed and do your job!! - charlie montgomery (just wait til manly-man grandpa)

nice thighs! - reid thackerson

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - stephen hatcher

…go eat some oreos with peanut butter and watch a chick flick!! - emily duncan (i just threw up again from thinking about that. i think it was mostly the idea of a chick flick that did it)

you’re christmas shopping right now aren’t you - anonymous (HAHAHAHA apparently they dont know me real well)

enjoying youth ministry right now? - chris powell

anonymous honorable mentions: someone with a b’ham area code wants to make sure i dont get my dog sick. someone else wants me to get better for manly man. and a handful of you just reminded me that clemson sucks. and someone just sent me ‘loser’ which is sweet. and someone else told me they were lighting my house on fire as i read their message. which is also sweet. i guess. and apparently the entire 8th period of PE at discovery wishes me well. and someone ordered me to get better otherwise an ‘arabian monkey will come in the night and steal my twinkies’.  

seriously thank you all who sent me a slap-in-the-butt via text messages tonight. its good to be reminded of the love. and for those of you that didnt, i appreciate you even more for sparing me. glory hallelujah. amen.